Deal with daughter over home ownership now on shaky ground
Dear Mr. Feichthaler:
Five years ago, my husband and I decided to purchase a home with our daughter. The agreement was we would contribute the down payment (which was $200,000, or 50% of the price) and our daughter would pay the mortgage, insurance and taxes. We then bought the house, with 50% held by us, the other 50% held by our daughter. We thought this arrangement would not only be helpful to her so she could have a home, but would also bring us closer together.
Well, since then, things have changed a bit. Our daughter met someone and was married last year. Even though we live on separate sides of the house, he doesn’t seem to like us all under one roof. Plus, since he moved in, they are now requiring us to pay half the mortgage and other expenses. When I reminded my daughter of our agreement, she said she didn’t remember that, and that if we sell the house, she wants to keep half the money!
Our relationship has suffered a bit from this, but it is still OK. We want to balance our desire to have a strong family with maintaining fairness (and a roof over our heads). What can we do?
— Kristin S.
Dear Kristin:
Your situation is so unfortunate, and one I am seeing more and more of — families trying to take steps to save money while growing closer to each other. Many of these arrangements work well, but there are steps that should be taken to improve the chances of success.
Although too late for this situation, reducing the agreement to a writing is always a good idea. I believe you have no written agreement based on the above, and I am sure you never thought you may need one. Whether it be passage of time or changed circumstances, people tend to view the past a bit differently, depending on their perspective. With a properly written and executed agreement, many misunderstandings can be avoided, which most times will lead to avoidance of lengthy, expensive litigation.
Without an agreement, your daughter does own 50% of the property, which means she also is entitled to 50% of the proceeds at sale. Clearly, this was not your intent if she didn’t pay the expenses as agreed. The good news is, cooler heads can prevail moving forward. You can still come to an agreement, in writing, memorializing the intentions, rights and obligations of everyone involved. This agreement may include specifics on expenses and other future considerations.
Due to the amounts involved and the potential complexities your new son-in-law may bring to the situation, it is advisable to speak to an attorney prior to proceeding with the agreement. I wish you and your family a successful outcome to this very solvable situation.
Eric P. Feichthaler has lived in Cape Coral for over 35 years and graduated from Mariner High School in Cape Coral. After completing law school at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C., he returned to Southwest Florida to practice law and raise a family. He served as mayor of Cape Coral from 2005-2008, and continues his service to the community through the Cape Coral Caring Center, Cape Coral Museum of History, and Cape Coral Kiwanis. He has been married to his wife, Mary, for over 20 years, and they have four children together. He earned his board certification in Real Estate Law from the Florida Bar. He is AV Preeminent rated by Martindale-Hubbell for professional ethics and legal ability, and is a Supreme Court Certified Circuit Civil Mediator. He can be reached at eric@capecoralattorney.com, or 239-542-4733.
This article is general in nature and not intended as legal advice to anyone. Individuals should seek legal counsel before acting on any matter of legal rights and obligations.
To reach ERIC P. FEICHTHALER, please email news@breezenewspapers.com